March 16, 2017

Hello friends,

I write to you to update you on the sofa saga (for those involved) and other news.

I was going to buy a very expensive sofa. It would be the 3rd most expensive thing I've ever purchased (house & car). I decided yesterday not to purchase it. I might purchase it next year. I know you've all been anxiously awaiting this news so I didn't want you to have to wait a moment longer.

Also I went to the dermatologist last week and got a call yesterday that I have a "pre-cancerous" mole that needs to be surgically removed. Pre-cancer is defined as "if we don't remove it, it will become melanoma." I will not need to be put under but will need to stay home and not use my right arm for a few days. This is happening Wednesday, April 12th.

So my question to you, my favorite people in the world, is: WHAT THE FUCK?

Also:

Should I just stop going to the doctor?

Eat a raw food diet for the remainder of my days?

Move to the woods?

Start smoking, drinking and taking a lot of drugs?

Live in a bubble?

I don't know what I'd do without you people.

xo,

A

PS I'm not telling my mother. The poor woman can't take it.